We’ve all seen the movies.
In “27 dresses,” Katherine Heigl parades around in a series of hideous bridesmaid gowns, each puffier, shinier and more ungaptchka than the last. In “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” the well-intentioned cousin reveals a sky-blue taffeta monstrosity with a mermaid frill and a plunging neckline. Yuck.
I knew when I was planning my wedding that the bridesmaids’ dresses would be a challenge. I had six women to please — my mother, three sisters and two best friends — not to mention little ol’ me. It was a challenge with a creative solution.
My search for the perfect dress had parameters:
1) It had to be pretty. I wanted my loved ones to feel beautiful. I didn’t want to punish them for being in my bridal party.
2) It had to be modest. My husband, Joel, and I got married in Lower Merion Synagogue, a Modern Orthodox shul. That meant everyone had to wear hemlines past the knee, sleeves and no cleavage. (I put notes on our website and invitations for our guests.) Moreover, my sister Hannah who lives in Beit Shemesh is more religious, so I had to be mindful of her comfort level.
3) It had to be affordable. My mom was buying my sisters’ dresses, and my friends were concerned with the price tag, too. Who could blame them? I had a friend, a fellow journalist, who was a bridesmaid at a swanky Connecticut affair where the bridesmaid dresses were $400 a piece — and the bride wanted each of them to kick in for $200 shoes. I wanted to be a tad more considerate.
4) It had to be readily available. My ‘maids were scattered to the wind: My sisters Hannah and Aviva were in Israel, and my sister Zoe was in Philadelphia. My friend Hindy was in Seattle and my friend Paula was in South Jersey. I needed a dress they could all buy, which brought me to the Internet.
I was quickly cross-eyed trying to meet my own criteria.
The biggest obstacle was modesty. I looked at beautiful, affordable dresses ALL DAY LONG on sites such as Nordstrom.com. But if the dresses had sleeves — they had a deep V-neck that showed off everything to the bellybutton. If the front actually covered your front — the dress was backless. If the dress had sleeves and a proper neckline — then the hem was sky high. If the hemline hit below the knee — then the gown was inevitably strapless. And on and on.
It was as if designers had a set amount of fabric that they moved up and down. Whatever the design, plenty of skin was exposed.
I tried to think creatively. What about a bolero? (“What’s a bolero?” Joel asked when he spotted the word in an email. “It’s a fancy word for a small jacket,” I said.) Maybe the ‘maids could wear them over strapless dresses — except for Hannah, who would have to wear a unitard to cover up the expanse between dress and neck.
That led to considering an adorable ’50s style A-line, tea-length dress with a matching bolero at David’s Bridal, but it wasn’t quite my style. There was also a stunning Suzi Chin — pleated silver chiffon with a jeweled belt — that could be worn with a black jacket, but my mom balked in favor of floor-length elegance.
The hunt continued.
I stayed up late on the phone with Hannah in Israel or Hindy in Seattle, scouring the Web for the perfect dress. We compared fabric, cut and color for weeks, but we still had bupkis.
I started plunking random terms into Google: “Modern Orthodox bridesmaids dresses” and “Jewish bridesmaid dresses” led to pricey $400 gowns were toomodest, covering everything from clavicle to wrist to ankle. “Tasteful bridesmaid dresses” were no better than the usual schlock.
Joel stepped in by suggesting: “Why don’t you just Google ‘modest bridesmaid dresses’?”
Then it happened. Right at the top of my computer screen was “Modest Bridesmaid Dresses: Latter Day Bride & Prom.” I clicked on it — and almost cried.
THIRTEEN pages of gorgeous, flattering dresses unfurled before me, and all had sleeves, high necklines, backs and hemlines that hit BELOW the knees every time. I was awe-struck.
It was so simple: Of course Mormons would have similar modesty standards. Of course they wanted to feel pretty. And, apparently, they didn’t want to pay more than $250 for a dress either. Hallelujah!!!
I got each of my bridesmaids to look at the site and help pick a design. I called Utah and got free fabric swatches delivered to my house.
Each dress comes in about 21 vibrant colors, and when I got the tiny squares in the mail, I couldn’t pick just one. So I chose six.
On my wedding day, Aug. 12, 2012, my sisters and friends looked perfect. The women wore cobalt, periwinkle, sky blue, dark purple and orchid, and my friend Ben (my honorary bridesmaid) wore a lavender tie. They coordinated beautifully. And because the women were all wearing the same dress, it all came together.
I know some brides just pick a color and let the ‘maids take care of the rest. I know other brides like everyone in uniform. But I wanted to do something a bit different. And I sure did 🙂
