While the debate on same-sex marriage is heating up in France, supporters of the mariage pour tous (marriage for all) movement have just received an accolade from Valérie Trierweiler, France's first lady. Trierweiler went on record to say that as soon as the law came into force next year, she would attend the wedding of two gay friends of hers and her partner's, the president François Hollande.
"I'm delighted to be one of the very first witnesses at one of the very first marriages for all," the Paris Match journalist told RTL radio. This outpouring of support for gay rights comes a few weeks after the former French first lady, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, gave an interview to Vogue magazine, in which she said she was "quite in favour of same-sex marriage and adoption". Listening to them both, France does indeed look like a progressive country. In reality, we're still very uptight. Or at least, our politicians are.
Trierweiler's political stand awoke the hatred and wrath of the rightwing MP Bernard Debré, who published a post on his blog in which he argued that Trierweiler has no right to enter the debate, because "she's just the mistress of the French president" – a very rude way to underline the fact that she and Hollande are not married, and a prime example of how retrograde and narrow-minded the French political class is. Indeed, our politicians are more conservative than the people they claim to govern.
A large majority of French people (58%) currently favour gay marriage, and 50% of us back adoption by homosexual couples. But it's also true that the French were even more in favour of same-sex unions back in 2011, when 63% of them favoured gay marriage, and 58% gay adoption. How can we explain this change of heart?
It's quite simple. The ongoing same-sex marriage debate sparked a renewed wave of homophobia in France. Anti-gay activists and elected officials from both sides of the political spectrum routinely compare the "sins" of same-sex marriage to polygamy, or even incest. A rightwing deputy even recently described gay parents as "potential terrorists", reaching a whole new level of stupidity.
And if our politicians are that reactionary, the church has something to do with it. Even if France is the country that gave birth to the concept of laicité, which advocates strict separation between the church and state, our country is still one of the oldest daughters of the Catholic church – which is vehemently against same-sex marriage, and rabidly opposing adoption by gay parents. The archbishop of Paris and one of the highest dignitaries of the French Catholic church, Monsignor André Armand Vingt-Trois, defined same-sex marriage as a "pure deception". According to him, marriage is a sacrament and by definition a union between a man and a woman. Sadly, his voice still counts in our country: he has been called as a witness by the National Assembly's commission on the same-sex marriage bill.
In my role as a journalist working for TÊTU, the biggest French gay-oriented magazine, I used to think French society was mature enough to face such a debate without resorting to slanging matches. I was genuinely convinced that a same-sex marriage law would be largely adopted. Our political class seemed finally to be ready. I was wrong. The UMP, France's main opposition party, will march side by side with anti-gay activists against the bill on 13 January.
But even among the flying insults and the abject intolerance on display, I can still see one good outcome: France is finally discovering that gay couples have relationships that are very much the same as those of heterosexual people. For a long time French gay people used to be stigmatised, often described as emotionally unstable. Today, you can't switch on the TV without seeing gay couples who have lived together for years, sometimes raising children, quietly and normally. And this is real progress, even for those who don't want any of us to get married.